Top 100 things to do if you dislocate a shoulder

[Reeltarded]

1. Whine like a jet engine
2. Become part of the opiod problem
3. Prank calls from a borrowed phone
4. Imagine what it must be like to wave
5. Start each statement with the phrase "bullet point"
6. Bullet point learn to play toilet paper left-handed
7. Run out of ideas
8. Use it as an excuse to miss your child's graduation
9. Slam speedballs and party with Belushi
10. Sleep in a chair so you don't wake up from a torture dream
11. Slow down with the list so others can think of some things
12. Pretend to be drunk and add you ex to the call you made to your wife
13. Call the police and file a missing persons report
14. JUST GO!!!
15. Ammend your taxes with a $21,000,000,000,000.18 loss
16. Inform the hospital that they gave you the wrong baby
17. Pretend to know everyone at Walmart on your FB page
18. Try to buy black powder with confederate currency
19. Roll your windows down at stops. Tell everyone you know the pope
20. Book an Uber using the county jail as an address and tell them you need lots of seating
21. Turn off location services
22. Pee in someone else's pajts
23. Make a listand run out of ideas about a quarter of the way through

[xtian]

Typing with only your south paw? You’re already making more sense than usual...


I dislocated BOTH shoulders while skiing—-planted face down in the snow with two lame wings. Was finally able to roll over, get joints popped back in place, and mope down the slope. Skiing is stupid.

[Colossal]

24. Avoid stairs
25. Reply with photos of cats
26. Go to Guitar Center, detune guitars, and play Ride The Lightning on a Crate

[jam-mill]

Can we also make a list for what to do if you rupture a distal bicep tendon?

IMG_1088.JPG

[xtian]

Can we also make a list for what to do if you rupture a distal bicep tendon?
IMG_1088.JPG

Dude. Do you have a warning tale to tell?

[jam-mill]

Can we also make a list for what to do if you rupture a distal bicep tendon?
IMG_1088.JPG

Dude. Do you have a warning tale to tell?

Be careful with sudden static loading with your arms extended (especially when you are pushing 60 years young).

I tried to "muscle" my riding mower in order to push it away from a drainage ditch - pop goes the tendon.

Happened over the summer (Jul 1, 2017) and I was in a partially immobilizing brace for 6 weeks after surgery.
Took about 6 months for full recovery.

Sorry for the thread derail, but I had to share that picture.

[Reeltarded]

OMG

[Reeltarded]

Typing with only your south paw? You’re already making more sense than usual...


I dislocated BOTH shoulders while skiing—-planted face down in the snow with two lame wings. Was finally able to roll over, get joints popped back in place, and mope down the slope. Skiing is stupid.

Skiing isn't stupid. It brought us together in an unexpected way. In pain. I am using my right arm like a TRex. I could pitch a game of baseball.

rawr rawr

-throws ball at ground-

[didit]

Proximal complex fracture of the humerus. 300 days plus taking the world on singlehanded. Titanium plate, half dozen screws and stainless staples, all buttoned up.

Just adding another list to litany.

Best .. Ian

[stelligan]

It hurts to read this thread... YEE-OUCH!

24. Stay off yer mountain bike
25. Get someone elst to open the bottle of wine
26. Get someone else to open the bottle of Pappy VanWinkle
27. Get someone else to roll the doobie...
28

[dorrisant]

Can we also make a list for what to do if you rupture a distal bicep tendon?

IMG_20170216_132741123.jpg

Beat you to it!

28 Pick up more cast iron tubs...

[jam-mill]

Can we also make a list for what to do if you rupture a distal bicep tendon?

IMG_20170216_132741123.jpg

Beat you to it!

28 Pick up more cast iron tubs...

When were you injured?

How long did it take to recover?

[dorrisant]

A year ago last November... After the surgery, I had about 3 months of weight restrictions, from nothing more than a coffee cup then up to ten pounds. Never stopped repairs, I had to handle amp chassis, etc with just the left hand. After six months, I really couldn't tell any difference. It will never look the same but I notice no difference in function. Mine wasn't just torn, it was completely torn in two... The doc used a cadavar tendon, sewn on to the muscle and pinned through the bone in my forearm. Sounds bad but wasn't painful and hardly a thought now. I hope your injury works out for the best!

[dorrisant]

26. Get someone else to open the bottle of Pappy VanWinkle
27. Get someone else to roll the doobie...
28

I'm down to help if this ever occurs to you...

[Rick]

Dislocated rt shoulder June 2016 I think it was. Five days later a 3/4" dry wall ceiling hatch fell out of my garage ceiling (I was trying to opening it with my good arm using a broom stick, I know, I'm a genius) and it landed square on my nose and just frickin' smashed it, for like the 5th time. The ENT said "your nose is a mess." I said "I know."