My oldest has decided not to go to college.
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- LeftyStrat
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My oldest has decided not to go to college.
My sixteen, soon to be seventeen year old daughter has informed me she doesn't want to go to college. She brought up the fact that Iggy Pop didn't go to college, and Richard Hell didn't even graduate high school.
I failed to bring up the point that Frank also didn't go to college, and now bags my groceries.
I extremely torn on this. She is very much like me, able to learn more from her own research rather than be spoon-fed info by a professor. But at least in the past, that sheepskin opened doors.
Half of me says push her, half of me says this:
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xzumg_ ... blNwhZOhzo
I failed to bring up the point that Frank also didn't go to college, and now bags my groceries.
I extremely torn on this. She is very much like me, able to learn more from her own research rather than be spoon-fed info by a professor. But at least in the past, that sheepskin opened doors.
Half of me says push her, half of me says this:
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xzumg_ ... blNwhZOhzo
It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
Re: My oldest has decided not to go to college.
This is not an easy job, being a parent. My folks were awesome. Dad just said, "Get a degree. Any degree. Shows you can follow through." It took me nine years and a couple of majors to earn my BA in art. And never has anyone asked if I've gone to college. I made my own career as a graphic designer/multimedia artist/web programmer.
I think college is much more useful for people who know what career they want to try. My oldest just finished her first year of school for a nursing career (BSN). Awesome! Great prospects.
But English majors? Psychology? Come on. Better to go to the University of the World.
Now, does the fact that you don't have to pay for college mean you can take that vacation to Hawaii? Because that's a plus.
I think college is much more useful for people who know what career they want to try. My oldest just finished her first year of school for a nursing career (BSN). Awesome! Great prospects.
But English majors? Psychology? Come on. Better to go to the University of the World.
Now, does the fact that you don't have to pay for college mean you can take that vacation to Hawaii? Because that's a plus.
I build and repair tube amps. http://amps.monkeymatic.com
Re: My oldest has decided not to go to college.
"I don't want to go to college" is not the same as:
"I have no plans for my life" It just means different plans.
Find out what those are and help with it if you can.
I didn't go to college and I turned out alrigh..Nevermind.
John
"I have no plans for my life" It just means different plans.
Find out what those are and help with it if you can.
I didn't go to college and I turned out alrigh..Nevermind.
John
Re: My oldest has decided not to go to college.
We just cannot predict what things will look like 10 years from now. But today, the percentage of unemployed with a college degree is MUCH lower than without. But the thing is that college is so expensive now, that it unclear whether the depts are worth it. My kids will finish grad school with $250k each in debt. Will they earn enough to pay that off? Not at Walmart or McDonalds - that is for sure. Even the experts are torn on this. But, as was said above, a degree without a career path can be a huge waste of money.
Does she know what she wants to do? Is there any plan at all, or are Iggy and Richard Hell really her role models? (I'd bet if we really knew the whole story, they are both kinda broke) I'd be pushy on the career planning side, even pay for some professional career counceling if needed. Then, let the college question answer itself.
Man, nothing is easy anymore. Good luck.
Does she know what she wants to do? Is there any plan at all, or are Iggy and Richard Hell really her role models? (I'd bet if we really knew the whole story, they are both kinda broke) I'd be pushy on the career planning side, even pay for some professional career counceling if needed. Then, let the college question answer itself.
Man, nothing is easy anymore. Good luck.
College
I got four out of five living at home in dept.the other lives with her grandma,2 od the four who finished collage have crappy jobs and are not using there degree.its a tough call in this time.I think a girl for sure should go.Hang in their she might change her mind when she see's what little you can do these days.mikey
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Re: My oldest has decided not to go to college.
Ask her what her plan is? If no college, then what? I am all for skipping the huge bill in favor of something else but it has to be a solid "something else"...
- A degree shows the world you are playing by the system, companies don't like get-rich-quick individuals who think they are better than most (forget that if your last name is Jobs or Gates). The person that is hiring you likely went to and PAID for...school. Think about it.
- A real job also affords one the ability to save and invest for later. I wish I did/knew back then what I know and am doing now.
- A real job and working for someone else builds character. Ever meet a rich kid that literally "got lucky" and was at the right place/right time? What jerks.
- A real job builds understanding, of those around us and life's ups and downs. I remember when Bush went to a grocery store and was blown away by the little laser light scanners to read a barcode at the grocery store. Here's the president, running the country, and has no idea what people go through on a daily basis - never saw a barcode scanner before!
- etc etc
Truth is all paths in life build character and shape our beings. College is a path that most take but not all. I think most of those that did not go to college either wish they did or couldn't because it was "in the way" of something else.
Honestly, you're lucky in a way. I wish my kid would say that. It means (hopefully) they are thinking of ways to beat the system and that's how you get ahead in life. However, there needs to be a solid planB or planC in case planA doesn't work out and you get stuck bagging groceries like Frank. I will also acknowledge the path of college might not lead to greener pastures either...the economy is tough these days.
- A degree shows the world you are playing by the system, companies don't like get-rich-quick individuals who think they are better than most (forget that if your last name is Jobs or Gates). The person that is hiring you likely went to and PAID for...school. Think about it.
- A real job also affords one the ability to save and invest for later. I wish I did/knew back then what I know and am doing now.
- A real job and working for someone else builds character. Ever meet a rich kid that literally "got lucky" and was at the right place/right time? What jerks.
- A real job builds understanding, of those around us and life's ups and downs. I remember when Bush went to a grocery store and was blown away by the little laser light scanners to read a barcode at the grocery store. Here's the president, running the country, and has no idea what people go through on a daily basis - never saw a barcode scanner before!
- etc etc
Truth is all paths in life build character and shape our beings. College is a path that most take but not all. I think most of those that did not go to college either wish they did or couldn't because it was "in the way" of something else.
Honestly, you're lucky in a way. I wish my kid would say that. It means (hopefully) they are thinking of ways to beat the system and that's how you get ahead in life. However, there needs to be a solid planB or planC in case planA doesn't work out and you get stuck bagging groceries like Frank. I will also acknowledge the path of college might not lead to greener pastures either...the economy is tough these days.
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Re: My oldest has decided not to go to college.
Not every job requires a four year degree. In my office, the designers make more than most of the engineers. There are a lot of options, but most require some education beyond high school. The other advantage is that the debt for education is greatly reduced. I would not take on that much debt without a plan for a return on the investment.
In my area 3D modelers can make insane money. Google PDMS and PDS.
In my area 3D modelers can make insane money. Google PDMS and PDS.
- Reeltarded
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Re: My oldest has decided not to go to college.
Ok. Still young enough to fail. My advice to her is go work. See how tgat plays out.
Degreed positions working for other people is worth at least a very nice house over the course of a lifetime, not to mention all the furnishings and things for the driveway.
Too many stigmas attached to the current climate to directly defend an extensive college education, but I should. Word.
Degreed positions working for other people is worth at least a very nice house over the course of a lifetime, not to mention all the furnishings and things for the driveway.
Too many stigmas attached to the current climate to directly defend an extensive college education, but I should. Word.
Signatures have a 255 character limit that I could abuse, but I am not Cecil B. DeMille.
Re: My oldest has decided not to go to college.
My nephew decided he wanted to quit school and work for me.after a week of ridin his ass tryin to get him to work like a man he decided school maybe his best option.
My oldest about to be 16.Says he wants to go to college and then start a skateboard company Sure thats how the world works.If your parents are millionares.But he makes good grades When I was his age I had already quit school and was on my own
I want them both to get a degree.I don't think anyone in ny family has ever graduated.
All I can say here is no point in spending all that money if she doesn't go into something in demand.
My oldest about to be 16.Says he wants to go to college and then start a skateboard company Sure thats how the world works.If your parents are millionares.But he makes good grades When I was his age I had already quit school and was on my own
I want them both to get a degree.I don't think anyone in ny family has ever graduated.
All I can say here is no point in spending all that money if she doesn't go into something in demand.
Re: My oldest has decided not to go to college.
I've heard pundits say spending $200,000+ on a kids college education in today's economy is nuts. They claim a parent would be better setting the kid up in business, or buying them a house. Maybe.
But 80% of start-up business's fail within the first two years. Why? Because folks have to KNOW how to run a successful business (no guarantees there ether). Where does that knowledge come from? School of Hard Knocks? What do they do after they've blasted through the initial capitalization and joined the 80-percenter club of failed business starts? What's the recovery mode, other than going to work for someone else and have no credentials (degree) to bargain with?
Business is fraught with risk. As is life in general. Even if you succeed in business, the taxman will bleed you dry. Or you attract the attention of multinational conglomerates bent on eliminating competition. Or hostile take-overs.
The one thing "they" can't take away from you is an education. It doesn't have to be earned in a college classroom. But there are advantages to having a university/college degree. Definitely. Is it worth hundreds-of-thousands-of-dollars of indebtedness? Maybe not. Can it be accomplished at reasonable cost (i.e. something mere mortals can afford)? Absolutely.
I put my eldest through a bachelors program (biology), and have the middle child enrolled with one more year to go for an associates degree (environmental science). Youngest is already visiting campuses in anticipation of entering business school a year from this fall. Initially she wanted to study fashion. I said "That's great, YOU pay for it ....... if you want to study business or medicine .... I pay for it ...... your choice." Nuff said.
But 80% of start-up business's fail within the first two years. Why? Because folks have to KNOW how to run a successful business (no guarantees there ether). Where does that knowledge come from? School of Hard Knocks? What do they do after they've blasted through the initial capitalization and joined the 80-percenter club of failed business starts? What's the recovery mode, other than going to work for someone else and have no credentials (degree) to bargain with?
Business is fraught with risk. As is life in general. Even if you succeed in business, the taxman will bleed you dry. Or you attract the attention of multinational conglomerates bent on eliminating competition. Or hostile take-overs.
The one thing "they" can't take away from you is an education. It doesn't have to be earned in a college classroom. But there are advantages to having a university/college degree. Definitely. Is it worth hundreds-of-thousands-of-dollars of indebtedness? Maybe not. Can it be accomplished at reasonable cost (i.e. something mere mortals can afford)? Absolutely.
I put my eldest through a bachelors program (biology), and have the middle child enrolled with one more year to go for an associates degree (environmental science). Youngest is already visiting campuses in anticipation of entering business school a year from this fall. Initially she wanted to study fashion. I said "That's great, YOU pay for it ....... if you want to study business or medicine .... I pay for it ...... your choice." Nuff said.
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Re: My oldest has decided not to go to college.
This ^^^^....But there are advantages to having a university/college degree. Definitely. Is it worth hundreds-of-thousands-of-dollars of indebtedness? Maybe not. Can it be accomplished at reasonable cost (i.e. something mere mortals can afford)? Absolutely.
A degree can and will open a lot of doors, if the individual that posseses it is competent. If you are going to get a degree, do it with as LITTLE debt as possible. A degree can be had reasonably. Be smart about how and where you spend your money. If it takes debt equivalent to a mortgage, then it is almost always a mistake IMO. There are exceptions. So many buy into the crap that college financial aid departments spew..."Just sign here and everything will be taken care of." That's outright bullshit.
Re: My oldest has decided not to go to college.
I hear ya, Lefty. A friend of mine is/was SO proud that her daughter was accepted to several colleges and earned over $60,000 in scholarships. Then she fell in LOVE with a guy that is on the short path to a dead end road and decided that she'd rather hang out with him next year than start college.
No answers on that situation yet.
I wish you well - my daughter has high aspirations too but I've learned that it's not a done deal until, well, until the deal is done and college is in the rear view mirror.
Regarding Cant': I didn't stay in the college the first couple tries. College didn't make sense for me until I was 30 - and then I almost made a career of it (11 years and three degrees).
No answers on that situation yet.
I wish you well - my daughter has high aspirations too but I've learned that it's not a done deal until, well, until the deal is done and college is in the rear view mirror.
Regarding Cant': I didn't stay in the college the first couple tries. College didn't make sense for me until I was 30 - and then I almost made a career of it (11 years and three degrees).
Last edited by Zippy on Thu Jun 13, 2013 5:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.
- VacuumVoodoo
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Re: My oldest has decided not to go to college.
IMHO as an uncle, not a father:
Your daughter doesn't need dad to push her into college but an ambitious boyfriend with college degree in HIS sights.
In other words, she needs a motivator not a persuader or enforcer.
What about her talents and passions? Anything that has potential to become a future income generator? Encourage, moderate and facilitate.
She's 17 and should be rebellious, a parent's job is not to squash the rebellion but teach how to be a smart rebel.
As for degree being an investment in the future, I totally agree with other posters.
Just my 2¢
Your daughter doesn't need dad to push her into college but an ambitious boyfriend with college degree in HIS sights.
In other words, she needs a motivator not a persuader or enforcer.
What about her talents and passions? Anything that has potential to become a future income generator? Encourage, moderate and facilitate.
She's 17 and should be rebellious, a parent's job is not to squash the rebellion but teach how to be a smart rebel.
As for degree being an investment in the future, I totally agree with other posters.
Just my 2¢
Aleksander Niemand
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Life's a party but you get invited only once...
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Re: My oldest has decided not to go to college.
When I was 16 my father forced me to have a summertime job. And gas and car insurance were to be paid for by myself with these wages. I will be forever in his debt for "providing" me this chance to evaluate the possibility of working for minimum wage the rest of my life.Reeltarded wrote:Ok. Still young enough to fail. My advice to her is go work. See how tgat plays out.
College does not so much open any doors. But there are doors that are pretty much closed without a degree. Especially for someone younger. Later on, real experience and a track record of getting things done (and a bit of who you know) is more important than a college degree. But early on that degree is all you have. It is no guarantee of better employment. But the lack of one is a limitation.
Mike
Re: My oldest has decided not to go to college.
if she has a plan - dreams, desires, and a goal - they power be with her support her.
If she doesnt know what she wants to do - or just wants to hang out - then college is for her.
Some I graduated high school with had deep desires, and went out to make their way - they were driven.
The only thing I see when your my age that separates those who have made it and those that didnt (ie stuck in a low wage job) was those that made it have an education. If you dont leave high school with a plan, dont go into the army or military, and dont follow a career rather than a job - well all those I know that didnt are failures now - at least financially. That said a decent wage doesnt make for a happy life - but it sure helps.
The difference between the haves and have nots in the world I see are separated by education - that is college degrees. If she doesnt have a plan - or want to go to college - make it very clear to her she's going to have to get used to being poor.
very, very poor.
Its easy to ignore when your eating your folks food - make her survive by her own means for a week would seem like a no-brainer for her education. Can she eat on 8$ a week? I used to have to! seriously! And that included drinks too!
give her 8$ and come back in a week. shell want to go to college after that.
If she doesnt know what she wants to do - or just wants to hang out - then college is for her.
Some I graduated high school with had deep desires, and went out to make their way - they were driven.
The only thing I see when your my age that separates those who have made it and those that didnt (ie stuck in a low wage job) was those that made it have an education. If you dont leave high school with a plan, dont go into the army or military, and dont follow a career rather than a job - well all those I know that didnt are failures now - at least financially. That said a decent wage doesnt make for a happy life - but it sure helps.
The difference between the haves and have nots in the world I see are separated by education - that is college degrees. If she doesnt have a plan - or want to go to college - make it very clear to her she's going to have to get used to being poor.
very, very poor.
Its easy to ignore when your eating your folks food - make her survive by her own means for a week would seem like a no-brainer for her education. Can she eat on 8$ a week? I used to have to! seriously! And that included drinks too!
give her 8$ and come back in a week. shell want to go to college after that.
it really is a journey, and you just cant farm out the battle wounds