Give me your best cork sniffer stories

[stevlech]

I know I'm opening a can of worms here. Let's hear the stories of customers/ friends/ nobody in particular who've "enlightened" your guitar experience.

Here's mine: A guy trying out les pauls refused to play one with a black finish because "the pigment makes the neck too thick for my hand".

[rsalinger]

I know of a local Blues hack who ONLY uses slides made from Kentucky Gold Bourbon bottle-necks. He swears that the glass used in the manufacturing of Kentucky Gold bottles "sounds the best"!

Next time I'm with him, I will ask him if his slides are polarized... or if he uses the non-polarized variety. It would a real shame if someone accidentally put one on 'backwards'.

[Jana]

I suspect it isn't the glass in the slide but what was in the bottle that has the tone.

[selloutrr]

As I sit here mauling over all the absurd and whack reasons for things I've heard over the years. I can't help but find a reason for why they were said.

I'd venture to say the reason your les paul guy never played a black one is because of the laquer finish being just a tad bit more sticky on his hand when he would sweat.

The slide, It was just what fit his finger the best, and it was probably a nice bonus to consume the contents.

The closest I can offer is a guy who said "I don't play maple necks on Fender guitars because of how they reflect the stage lights."

It has some truth the gloss finish on the neck if you are a finger watcher can glare out the fret dots and make you lose your fingering position during your metaltastic fret run.

[G. Hoffman]

Not quite a cork-sniffing thing, but I did once have a customer ask me how much it would cost to touch-up the scratch he put in his brand new Custom Shop Relic Strat. Pretty much made my year, that one. He was worried that the scratch wasn't original. I managed to talk him out of it.


Gabriel

[jaysg]

I personally slipped a decimal point and came off as one...I bought a used guitar where someone had added an under saddle Fischman peizo and not ground down the saddle to make up for the piezo thickness. I told the guy I'd measured it and it was .003 too high...I meant .030...oi! Can't show my face there anymore....

[stevlech]

Thanks, fellas.
As for the finish being sticky on the LP, that wasn't his point. This guy is truly convinced the pigment adds to the thickness of the finish significantly enough to render the guitar's neck too large for his hand. Had he tried it and decided it was too thick, I'd understand. Or even if he'd said he doesn't like black guitars, that's fine. However i just couldn't wrap my head around the pigment theory.

A well respected player I know had worked in a music store that sold reliced guitars. He would chuck his keys at them just to make the manager squirm. His explaination for it was " I'm adding value".

The same player is adamant that anything 8 ohms is horrid sounding.

I dunno. Maybe there's something there?

Anywho, enjoy your weekend.

[BTF]

I don't know if this is what you want, but I retired from 25 years at a service center after a fellow brought in a 1976 Fender Twin (pull pot on master model). He said he had brought the amp back with him from Viet Nam (?!). I should have stopped right there, but instead I serviced the amp replacing filters (all blown and erupted), replaced and properly biased the power tubes. The amp sounded very good and all in the shop agreed it was right as rain. He then takes the amp, and brings it back two days later complaining that the amp was too powerful and full sounding. The amp in its previous condition only put out about 40 watts with its browned voltages and 4 power tubes of each a different brand.

[BTF]

Oh, and I forgot to mention the young lady who warned me not to remove her rattlesnake rattle (SERIOUSLY) from inside her vintage Martin 28 because it added to the tone of the guitar. She had actually killed the snake and cut off the rattle (yet despite being somewhat odd, she was extremely sexy...go figure ). And there I was trying bone saddles and nuts when all I really needed was a rattlesnake rattle !

[G. Hoffman]

(yet despite being somewhat odd, she was extremely sexy...go figure ).

The best girlfriends are always f**king nuts.


Gabriel

[Zippy]

Oh, and I forgot to mention the young lady who warned me not to remove her rattlesnake rattle (SERIOUSLY) from inside her vintage Martin 28 because it added to the tone of the guitar. She had actually killed the snake and cut off the rattle (yet despite being somewhat odd, she was extremely sexy...go figure ). And there I was trying bone saddles and nuts when all I really needed was a rattlesnake rattle !

That's a Tony Rice thing - the rattlesnake rattle in the D-28, that is, not the "extremely sexy".

[Cliff Schecht]

Tony Rice does some extremely sexy playing though. One of my favorites.

[Super_Reverb]

Oh, and I forgot to mention the young lady who warned me not to remove her rattlesnake rattle (SERIOUSLY) from inside her vintage Martin 28 because it added to the tone of the guitar. She had actually killed the snake and cut off the rattle (yet despite being somewhat odd, she was extremely sexy...go figure ). And there I was trying bone saddles and nuts when all I really needed was a rattlesnake rattle !

Couldn't this be the basis of a great blues tune?

My woman left me
Just left Seattle
I was Southbound in my Cadillac


I was trying bone nuts and saddles
Looking' for lost mojo
When I realized
What I needed was a rattlesnake rattle...


rob

[BTF]

I can't believe someone else actually does the rattlesnake rattle mojo. I figured it for some "Deliverance" oddity. I'm totally puzzled by the mojo this particular type of thing is supposed to induce. I could forgive tortoiseshell, and different guages of string, varieties of wood, but a snake rattle? Still, she was not only fetching, but had a great personality as well so that helps. We had a Celtic harpist/belly dancer who was the same way. I never enjoyed installing Schaller Oysters on a soundboard so much...

Back when Guitar Player used to run those "No B.S. Reviews" we started getting all kinds of weird requests. One fellow bought a Fender Decatone then brought it to us and wanted every component on the circuit board replaced with boutique parts-all the while keeping the board. After a while acoustic music pretty much killed electric in our area and the cork sniffers really came out of the woodwork. You had to know every bit of minutiae about Martin guitars and Gibson banjos.

[Bob-I]

At an open mike where I play in the house band, a guy asked me if any of our amps sounded like AC\DC. We had a box ac30 and a deluxe reverb. I said no so he brought in his Marshall, an SS piece of junk. He said "it's a MARSHALL". Sounded like a buzz saw. Our drummer said, it sounds just like a sitar.